7/12/17

A Resume Attempt

Choose Your Own Metaphor!
Hi, guys. How's your summer going? After three and a half years of making a go of it as a freelancer who also raises children, I've decided to dip my toe in the ice cold waters of looking for a more traditional job with a more traditional paycheck. For anyone who has ever looked for a job, you know how it feels. Can you wear many high-demand hats while thriving in a fast-paced environment? Are you a self-starting multi-tasking professional with expert graphic design skills? Did we mention those HATS? 

I revamped my resume, but I don't think it fully represents me and many of my worthwhile skills, so I made a version that I think does. What do you think? Would you hire me? [I had to load it here as three different screenshots, so please bear with.]

16 comments:

Matthew said...

I would totally hire you. Also, all resumes should have a "favorite notion" section. xoxo

Unknown said...

Loose / shapeless jumpsuits and dresses are not a weakness at all! (As an introvert, I also appreciate your Dickinson notion -- too often that inward journey is so overlooked or discounted!) Love your resume 2.0 -- would totally hire you! You express your talents and skills in a real way rather than BS-it-up.

Tim Mazurek said...

We're hiring in my office. Move to Chicago and I can be your boss. x

Kara said...

Yes, move to Chicago and then take the train to my house. I second everything: I would hire you and fund your loose dresses wholeheartedly

Alison said...

I wholeheartedly endorse you keeping he part in about the Bookman family; credit where credit is due!

cmg said...

I went to Hopkins about the same time and your description made me laugh out loud. HIRED.

Anna said...

Unofficial Hopkins reunion in the comments: count me in! Also, YES. So many fascinating people make ourselves sound boring in our resumes. You...didn't.

Amelia Morris said...

@cmg @Anna Baltimore itself probably taught me more than JHU...amirite?? though that one criminal justice class really blew my 20-year-old baby mind. Also, the casual sexual assault. geez.

@Tim M THANKS for the job offer! I'll add it to my resume to create a sense of urgency?

@Kris W @Kara @Alison thanks, guys! xoxxoxx

Unknown said...

this is awesome, Amelia. i'm not in need of a resume update at the moment, being self-employed and all, but maybe i could hire you to help me make my bio less stodgy. (i'm a cellist/teacher, and artist bios always read the same..."so and so studied with this famous teacher and went to this famous school and played in this famous orchestra. they also play a fancy instrument that costs more than your car")
ps muumuus = life

Astrid said...

@Caitlin Fahey: That is so true! I think an @Amelia Morris kind of bio would work very well for a musician! It would be very refreshing.

Love your bio @Amelia Morris!

missyerem said...

Dear Amelia, I just loved your Bio, I loved and love everything about it. It has also inspired me to write something similar. Am chronically ill and need to find work that I can do at home. To hide the illness seems necessary and counterproductive at the same time. So I will give it a try your way. Off to try and be equally eloquent and lovely in German as you are in English. Greetings from Berlin and loads of good luck, Anja

m. said...

it doesn't come off as too professional - too chatty, almost; but maybe that's the creative writer's edge when crafting a resume? I would work on something stronger. You seem to be a strong woman and this is more limp biscuit.

Amelia Morris said...

@m. Well, just to be clear, I haven't actually sent out this version of my resume to any potential employers. It was more of a fun exercise. And hey, thanks for the compliment--I consider myself a strong woman too, but also that being strong can mean so much more than our culture seems to allow for. I think there's so much strength in patience, practicality, emotionally flexibility, allowing oneself to stagnate, to even regress(!), allowing oneself to be vulnerable, etc. And unfortunately--you don't really see those traits under any of the bullet points in job-listing descriptions, ya know??

Amelia Morris said...

*emotional flexibility (Also strength in admitting one's mistake!) :)

nicki0731 said...

This is the most random spot for it, but I am now private on Twitter (Badger Reader) so you wouldn't see it if I tagged you there. Did you see this article about caftan love (now with custom dog prints)? https://www.racked.com/2017/8/8/16099002/patricias-couture-pet-caftans

Katherine {eggton} said...

I would hire you, perhaps as a gardener. The resume bullet points afterward would read, in Edna St Vincent Millay's words:

"She digs in her garden
With a shovel and a spoon,
She weeds her lazy lettuce
By the light of the moon."